comics scheduled for july 2002

She's an Alien, he's a Predator. They came from opposite sides of the tracks. She was brought up on the leafy lawns of the indolent nouveau riche; he was adopted by Mexican immigrants and slept in a kennel. In this new contemporary comedy, will they overcome their differences and tie the knot, or will love tear them apart?

- Stephen on Alien vs Predator 2

b o o k s f o r m a y 2 0 0 5

Embroideries h/c (£10-99, Pantheon) by Marjane Satrapi. It's already scooped up awards, and it's by the creator of PERSEPOLIS vols one and two, so yes, I think we can safely anticipate something equally special. PERSEPOLIS, for those bonkers enough to have avoided it so far, was Marjane's autobiography about growing up in a post-Islamic Revolution Iran, and both volumes were my books of the year for those years in which they appeared. Here, instead of condensing years into pages, Satrapi sits down and takes tea with her mother, grandmother and various friends and relatives, and they discuss sex. Yes, they have have sex in Iran, and the women are even prepared to talk about it. Secrets, regrets and ploys to fake ones virginity. Clearly I worship the ground this woman walks on, but that doesn't mean that this won't be utterly engrossing. It means it will.

Three Paradoxes (£7-99, Fantagraphics) by Paul Hornschemeier - Sometimes his reach exceeds his grasp but at least he's trying. With SEQUENTIAL his reprinted his earliest work, showing that all the time he was trying to work out how it all fits together, trying new layouts, different lines. FORLORN FUNNIES, apart from the award winning serial, and alter collection, MOTHER COME HOME, showed he was still playful but added a good sense of story even though you thought that he should shake off the Chris Ware worship. RETURN OF THE ELEPHANT bought it all together as he realised what you leave out is as important as what you put in. This new book has three stories in three styles but the subject is autobiographical.

Why Are You Doing This? (£8-50, Fantagraphics) by Jason - Answer to follow....

Walt & Skeezik vol 1 (£19-99, Drawn & Quarterly) by Frank King, designed & edited by Chris Ware - Another legendary strip. After LITTLE NEMO IN SLUMBERLAND and KRAZY KAT (the collections of which are also being designed by Chris Ware) and possibly THIMBLE THEATRE this is the one that gets all the attention. The pages we've seen in Drawn & Quarterly have been stunning and Ware sites it as his favourite strip. The characters were allowed to grow up, fall in love, have children and not be stuck in some easy holding pattern, forever the age they were when they first appeared.

Village Under My Pillow (£6-50, Drawn & Quarterly) by Luc Giard - " The newest in Drawn & Quarterly's "Petits Livres" pocketbook artbook series sees the return of comic art legend, Luc Giard. As many alternative comic aficionados will know, Giard's bold, intense drawings were a regular fixture in the early issues of the Drawn & Quarterly anthology, and this new book marks his first solo collection, featuring all-new material. Giard has gotten even better over the years, as this collection of work shows, and he covers a diverse range of subject matter, including Tin Tin reproductions, beautiful naked women, and portraits of Jasper Johns and Saul Steinberg."

Superf*ckers #1 (£4-99, Topshelf) by James Kochalka - " No, it's NOT a sex book! The Super F*ckers are the baddest teenage superhero team around, and everybody wants to join. They live in a big club-house, play video games on their state-of-the-art supercomputer, smoke their teammate Grotus' slime drippings, and fight amongst themselves like cats and dogs. Would-be heroes are lining up outside the door for a chance to try-out for a spot on the elite team. But why must they incessantly keep ringing the doorbell? The try-outs aren't until tomorrow. Somebody's got to stop them. This book is outrageously funny, vibrantly colored, and out of control. Just like America. The first issue in an all-new series by James Kochalka."

Blecky Yuckarella (£7-99, Fantagraphics) by Johnny Ryan - One hundred and four pages of bodily fluid humour. As seen in VICE.

Complete Crumb Comics vol 17 (£12-50, Fantagraphics) by Robert Crumb - Final volume of this exhaustive series. We're not quite up to the present day but all the work that followed this volume will be collected into single-volume books such as HUP and MYSTIC FUNNIES. This week, the Guardian has been running a week long feature on Crumb to tie in with the London gallery show. In the first piece, I think, they printed his famous quote 'it's only lines on paper, folks'. Or that could have been Robert Williams using it to introduce the black and white issue of JUXTAPOZ. "It's only lines on paper, folks." Oh, it works so well. For a start, it is only lines on paper but somehow they work together and produce something magical that wasn't there before. Also, it's only lines on paper, it's not real violence, real sex, so stop getting so worked up about it.

Bolland Strips! (£12-99, Knockabout) by Brian Bolland - Although best known for his work on Judge Dredd and his mountain of covers for DC superhero titles, Bolland's own work is more whimsical and meandering, more akin to Eddie Campbell. This book collects his Mr Mammoulian strips and old and new ones featuring The Actress And The Bishop. Some of this stuff would have appeared in A1 many moons ago.

Pilgrim & Son: Festival Ritual (£5-99, Knockabout) by Hunt Emerson - One of the UK underground's true originals, Emerson has being doing his thing for more years than any of us would care to admit. "This is a collection of comical and hallucinatory tales of an addled old hippie and his punk son. Headless chickens, magic mushrooms, idiot dancing and the festival bus trips feature in the general madness."

Strangers In Paradise: Molly & Poo (£5-99, Abstract Studios) by Terry Moore. Three issues dotted about this series have been devoted to a Molly, who'd like to think she was Neil Gaiman's Death (SANDMAN). Not unusual in the goth crowd, but the use of axes sets her slightly apart. The final issue is about to appear in the next SiP, and this collects all three.

True Story: Swear To God vol 2: This One Goes Up To 11 (£8-50, AIT/PlanetLar) by Tom Beland. The title made me smile, telling you exactly what it does: it reprints the issues between book one and #11. I haven't read this series, but I will read this book, and I will get back to you. For the moment: "A relationship is tough enough when there's three thousand miles separating two lovebirds. Toss in a category 5 hurricane Georges and you've got some real problems. How do you pack up your life, say good-bye to everything you hold dear and take a leap of faith based on what your heart tells you?" Everyone knows someone who has given up their own familiar surroundings for love, or someone who has taken the responsibility of being the reason for moving in, and it's not easy for either party. Very much looking forward to making up for my neglect of this series. I'll let you know how it goes. Also available: book one, and a separate book called 100 STORIES.

Too Much Coffee Man: How To Be Happy (£8-50, Dark Horse) by Shannon Wheeler. TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN's latest incarnation is as a magazine, predominantly composed of anti-establishment prose pieces and all-round mischief-making, but Shannon still contributes strips featuring his hyperactive doom-merchant, the cup-headed Too Much Coffee Man, giving all the issues of the day a neurotic seeing-to. It's unclear to me whether this Dark Horse edition is made up of those pieces (see, I don't think there are enough of them to fill 144 pages), or whether they're new to print, but they do point you in the direction of www.tmcm.com so maybe it's stuff from the website instead.

Serenity Rose vol 1: Working Through The Negativity (£8-50, SLG) by Aaron A. For LENORE and SQUEE fans.

Fortune & Glory ltd signed hc (£23-50, On) by Brian Michael Bendis - By a strange chain of occurrences, Bendis gets a call from a Hollywood type. Their clueless clutching has thrown them down the stairs and, by god, now they must have this guy who does the comic thing. He's got a good thing going in one field so hopefully he can turn shit to gold for them. They'll make a lot of money, he'll get some money and all parties will be, for a very short time, reasonably happy.

These days, tales of Hollywood tend to be more interesting than the films they throw out and this is no different. Bendis takes note of all the phone calls and meetings and relays it back to you. It's funny. We've got the regular edition of the book in stock now but Oni have decided to make a limited, signed hardcover edition available for a short period of time.

Powers vol 1 h/c (£19-99, Marvel) by Brian Michael Bendis & Michael Avon Oeming. Reprints #1-11 of the original series, with lots of extras including - and quite right too - a Best of the Letter Column, year one.

Gotham Central vol 2: Half A Life (£9-99, DC) by Greg Rucka & Michael Lark, Jason Pearson, William Rosado, Cam Smith, Steve Mitchell. Yuss! The book I was convinced would never appear. The monthly title by Brubaker and Rucka has never gained the sales it deserves, and indeed isn't much longer for this world. Hopefully, though, it will all see the light of day as books, and even if it doesn't, this second story arc was one of the finest.

Officer Renée Montoya is the object of obsession for a physically and emotionally scarred Gotham criminal, but she's also the victim of both a set-up and blackmail. Arrested then abducted in what appears to most like a flight from justice, Renée's under more pressure than ever before in her life, and she's not the only one. Even if - and it's a big "if" - she manages to escape her captor and clear her name, her most closely guarded secret is now well and truly out, and life on the force is going to be a lot more difficult from now on.

As Montoya sank deeper and deeper into the trouble with each successive issue I was absolutely on the edge of my seat. For long-time Batman fans a long-running unrequited love affair is finally resolved, but for newcomers it's one self-contained piece of prime precinct drama which hinges on what I would have thought was a real-life worry for a lot of policemen and women. The lighting and textures are magnificent in their street-level grime, and I will mourn the premature passing of this monthly like no other prematurely past monthly I can think of since Steve Bissette's TYRANT.

Top Ten: The Forty-Niners h/c (£16-99, Wildstorm/DC) by Alan Moore & Gene Ha. Season One of TOP TEN (the two tpbs to date), the precinct drama in a world in which everyone and everything had a super power, was an exhilarating combination of detective science-fiction, slick direction and social satire (robophobia, blind zen taxi drivers, boy bands etc.), with panel after panel of comicbook nudges and winks in the backgrounds. Set in a futuristic city-scape of sky-high sky-scrapers and airborne transport, it chronicled the day-to-day affairs of officers of the law in Neopolis. Here Moore presents their predecessors, some of whom will be familiar, although a whole lot younger.

Nightwing: On The Razor’s Edge (£9-99, DC) by Chuck Dixon & Greg Land, Rick Leonardi, Trevor McCarthy, Mike Lilly, Drew Geraci, Jesse Delperdang, Mark Farmer, John Lowe. Ninjas - never a good sign for law and order.

Superman: Infinite City h/c (£16-99, DC) by Mike Kennedy & Carlos Meglia. A new graphic novel in the visual style of modern, computer-generated Kyle Baker, and if they couldn't find two pages with a better script than those they chose to advertise this with, you should probably stay away. Clark Kent and Lois Lane travel through a portal where they find a doppelganger of Superman and some discontented residents. I've just learned from another solicitation that Superman has built a new Fortress of Solitude in the Amazon jungle. So, not a member of Greenpeace, then. I'm with Lex Luthor: seems like one rule for us, another rule for the alien in tights. I await to see if he asks any remaining tribes for permission (planning or otherwise) and how many hectares were cleared to make way for this new focus for destruction. If you're interested in that storyline, it kicks off in SUPERMAN #217, written by Mark Verheiden, who was a supervising Producer on Smallville. If you're interested in Luthor's perspective, LEX LUTHOR: MAN OF STEEL #1 by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo is on the shelves right now and will be given a resounding round of applause in part B. I warn you now, in case reorders stop coming in.

Batman Begins: The Movie & Other Tales Of The Dark Knight (£8-50, DC) by Scott Beatty & Killian Plunkett, Serge LaPointe and others. For £4-50 you can read the movie adaptation on its own. Here you can read other stuff including Ed Brubaker's BATMAN #604 and Greg Rucka's DETECTIVE COMICS #757. You're waiting for me to say something dismissive about the film, aren't you? Well let me tell you, it will have the best rooftops in film history. Oh yes. All those water towers will be immaculate - stunning, in fact. Who needs Anton Furst when the legendary Al Bell is on board, working his miniature magic? Page 45 will be booking a coach for an official film viewing so we can all marvel at the modelling, even though the cinema is just 100 yards up the road. Most of this preview has been true.

World’s Greatest Superheroes Oversized Slipcase h/c (£32-99, DC) by Paul Dini & Alex Ross. All those large, fully-painted little morality tales, like SUPERMAN: PEACE IN EARTH and BATMAN: WAR ON CRIME, collected into a slipcased h/c that won't flop over on your bookshelf. All the bonus material you could want including a huge, fold-out poster you know you'll never sully with blue-tack, and a warning here that once this arrives, the individual albums will not be reordered.

Maximum Fantastic Four hc (£32-99, Marvel) by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby, commentary by Mark Evanier, designed by Paul Sahre – Now here’s an entry into the ‘comics as art’ argument. Let’s take one of the financial & creative milestones of Marvel’s history, this time FANTASTIC FOUR #1 and give it the deluxe treatment. Make it into a coffee table artbook. A “super-size, digitally remastered, panel-by-panel exploration of the entire issue that captures every single detail and nuance of Kirby’s groundbreaking artwork”. From the two panels that we’re shown, it looks like the book has been recoloured, upping the hues, forcing that pop-art edge. Kirby’s art (as we’ve seen in the obsessive JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR) stands up to, and often works better by being enlarged so putting the pages at 8 7/8” x 11 7/8” will make it a treat. Whether or not we need the essays and commentary is another thing but this is the age of the dvd so I guess we’re stuck with it.

Other specifications: four-colour matte lamination, spot UV gloss jacket with embossing and foil, four-colour matte lamination, spot UV case.

Best Of The Fantastic Four vol 1 h/c (£19-99, Marvel) by many. Random selection of stuff, reflecting the judgement of we-know-not-whom.

Marvel Masterworks: The Invincible Iron Man vol 2 (£32-99, Marvel) by Stan Lee & Don Heck. First appearance of Hawkeye, horribly drawn by Don Heck before he went on to horribly draw him in THE AVENGERS. Reprints the Iron Man halves of TALES OF SUSPENSE #51-65.

Ultimate Adventures: One Tin Soldier (£8-50, Marvel) by Ron Zimmerman & Duncan Fegredo. The forgotten Ultimate book. As an Ultimate book it should be forgotten as well, but as a stand-alone bit of roguish humour, it had more than a few moments. The sort of thing Kevin Smith might write, if he was writing superheroes like he wrote CLERKS, although I may be influenced by the fact that Fegredo illustrated JAY & SILENT BOB. Fegredo is a natural comedy artist (actually, he's an impressive artist full-stop, but he has a real knack for comedy), and lends some weight to yet another take on Batman & Robin, the Robin in this case being a rebellious orphan adopted more or less against his will be a billionaire with all the parenting skills of a superhero - which of course he is. The boy's not about to put his trust in an adult any time soon, least of all one with a spandex secret. But he does need a little discipline, which is where the billionaire's PA comes in. I need to read this again to remember exactly what happens, but at school the lunatics definitely take over the asylum.

Marvel Team-Up vol 1: The Golden Child (£9-99, Marvel) by Robert Kirkman & Scott Kolins. So-so light-weightery which Bendis (amongst others) should have been more cautious of endorsing in the back of #1.

Amazing Spiderman vol 9: Skin Deep (£6-50, Marvel) by J. Michael Straczynski & Mike Deodato jr & Mark Brooks. It is an unfortunate truth that those bullied at school do not always stick up for others bullied at school. They just feel relieved that for once they're not the target, which is how the bullies don't get the tables turned on them. Peter Parker was as guilty as the next nerd when he was younger, and now his former classmate waltzes back into Peter's life with an improbable plan for scientific experiments. Not Straczynski's finest moment. Hamfisted moralising combined with implausible contemporary coincidences spoil what otherwise might have been a fair point well worth making. Felt like a filler. Sorry, feels like a filler - hasn't finished yet.

Spectacular Spiderman vol 5: Sins Remembered (£6-50, Marvel) by Samm Barnes & Scot Eaton. I wondered how Paul Jenkins could have written something so absurd, until I realised he'd left already. Set in Paris. Does no services of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN vol 8, but does attempt to cash-in on its revelations and sales.

Marvel Knights Spiderman vol 3: The Last Stand (£6-50, Marvel) by Mark Millar & Terry Dodson. Now, this is more like it. The final book to reprint Millar's twelve-issue run whose overall title I'd call "The Contingency Plan". When the series first started, it was accused of being the equivalent of Loeb and Lee's BATMAN: HUSH, in that it ran through Spider-Man's most popular villains, one by one, in an attempt to solve a mystery - the mystery in this instance being "Who's kidnapped Aunt May?". And although, like most things Millar, it was at the very least mildly diverting and often quite funny, there didn't appear to be much more to it than that. As this book finally reveals however, "Who kidnapped Aunt May" is only one of the mysteries on offer, and the question which should have been raised was, "Why?" See, the most obvious answer is "To get at Peter Parker - it's someone who knows Peter Parker is Spider-Man and they're getting revenge." Oooh nooo, not as simple as that. The "Why" is far more interesting, and is as much to do with the practicalities of the past as the immediate necessities of the present. Like I say, I'd call it "The Contingency Plan". And it wasn't set up yesterday.

Excalibur vol 2: Saturday Night Fever (£9-99, Marvel) by Chris Claremont & Aaron Lopresti. Dog's dinner, digested for half an hour, then thrown up on your carpet. That's how it looks, too.

X-Men: Eve Of Destruction (£9-99, Marvel) by Scott Lobdell & Salvador Larroca, Tom Rainey, Leinil Francis Lu. Some of the final issues before Grant Morrison took over. Did Marvel look at this tripe and think, "This is now so broken, it doesn't matter what we do"? They should be far more grateful than they are that Grant found a way to do anything with this mess, let alone something so spectacularly imaginative. Anyway, the mess in question is the capture of some X-Men by Magneto in Genosha and their rescue by some others. They succeed.

Punisher Max vol 3: Mother Russia (£9-99, Marvel) by Garth Ennis & Dougie Braithwaite. Frank Castle is a man with one mission: to kill those he believes prey on others, particularly on children. He is not a gun for hire. He accepts no one else's authority and no one else's instructions. And in the Marvel universe he is the hard-ass's hard-ass, making Wolverine look like a softie. The only man who boasts the same self-assured determination is Nick Fury, which is possibly why he's one of the few people Castle will listen to. The Russians have developed a virus, one which, if it made its way to the black market like other arms of the crumbling military monolith, could prove lethal to the rest of the world. It's locked in an underground nuclear solo - inside the body of a young girl. Nick needs the girl safely out, and only Frank would be insane enough to attempt it, and ruthless enough to accomplish the mission. Unbeknownst to Nick Fury, however, there's a more cowardly form of ruthlessness in action behind the desks of the Pentagon, where they are prepared to sacrifice innocents to cover their tracks, even if it means doing to others what was done to America on September 11th. One of Ennis' best performances so far.

Giant-Size Marvel (£16-99, Marvel) by many. In the 1970s, Marvel occasional sprinkled in to ongoing stories "Giant-Size" comics. I don't mean they made AVENGERS #136 double-sized, for example, I mean that in between #135 and 136 they published GIANT-SIZE AVENGERS #4, which finished off the story from #135. Now, I don't have a room full of Marvel back issues, and for all I know these may well be stand-alone stories, even if at least one is available elsewhere. I'd just caution you before typing that this contains (insert "GIANT-SIZE" before each of the following) AVENGERS #1, DEFENDERS #4, FANTASTIC FOUR #4, SUPER-HEROES #1, INVADERS #1, X-MEN #1 and CREATURES #1.

Avengers: Kang – Time & Time Again (£12-99, Marvel) by Stan Lee, Roy Thomas & Jack Kirby, John Buscema, others. Various storylines that involved Kang The Conqueror, a man from the future who used to be a pharaoh in the past, then become Immortus in the future and who in all three incarnations travelled backwards and forwards in time, fucking up the continuum to the point where no one now knows who is/was/will be when/why or where, least of all, it seems, Kang himself, who's continually surprised by another version popping up out of nowhen and trying to sabotage his own older/younger self's plans by altering the timeline he's trying to alter himself to stop him altering the timeline or, you know, really rip it in two, three or twelve. I seem to remember Kurt Busiek's AVENGERS FOREVER will give you a good dollop of that, but in the mean time, here's some of the stuff when it was relatively sane. For what's currently going down, check out YOUNG AVENGERS #1.

Essential Defenders vol 1 (£10-99, Marvel) by Stan Lee, others. The Defenders have a special place in many an old-timer's heart. Their core members were Dr. Strange, Prince Namor of Atlantis (postcode: somewhat soggy) and, umm, the Incredible Hulk. Together they did a lot of fighting, mostly amongst themselves (let's see: an obstinate, self-regarding monarch of the majority of the earth's surface at the same dining room table as a big green child with Attention Deficiency Disorder, a punch like a nuclear Mike Tyson and a temper worse than Oliver Reed's...), and Dr. Strange's home insurance rocketed along with his intake of valium. Occasionally they were joined by the Silver Surfer, then The Valkyrie and Nighthawk, and it was all faintly ridiculous which is why they're the butt of so much WIZARD TWISTED TOYFARE THEATRE humour. This volume includes the Avengers/Defenders War, now out of print, with issues from both titles. Black and white.

ABC Warriors vol 2: The Black Hole (£8-99, 2000ad) by Pat Mills & Simon Bisley > ...And SMS. No, not text messages, a chap who drew alternate episodes of this though his name obviously isn't bankable enough. But no matter - you may not be familiar with his work, but he complements Bisley very well. Bisley does extravagantly OTT musculature and guns; SMS does architecture worthy of Kevin O'Neill. Ignore that 'vol. 2'; this has very little connection with the preceding volume. All you need to know is that the ABC Warriors are big, violent robots and if they do not reach their goal, the Earth is doomed. But oh, what fun it is to see them try to reach it...

Each chapter's told from a different point of view. This is a very good way of bringing out character, but crucially, it never gets in the way of the ultraviolence. Make no mistake, this is hack'n'slash'n'shoot Boy Comics, but it's possibly the finest Boy Comics ever created; in the copyright-quibble-mandated absence of Zenith, it's also up there with Halo Jones as the best 2000AD reprint money can buy. Scabrous, cynical, yet utterly magnificent, it also features one of the best lines in the history of comics: "We're not going to do something embarrassing like form a circle and destroy it with the power of love, are we?" That still works as a comeback to the finales of far too many US comics, including almost everything by Mark Waid. To conclude: ROBOTS GOOD. BUY ROBOTS NOW

Fiends Of The Eastern Front (£8-99, Rebellion) by Finley-Day & Ezquerra >> ...is a rather nasty little horror/war story. Self-contained, moodily drawn and with the protagonist being a WW2 German grunt who we know from the start is going to die. And his regiment just got some new allies from Romania who are leaving very odd & brutal killings in their wake- yep, they be vampires. The problem is not that so much as what will happen when they stop being allies to Germany... Then Romania switches sides to Russia and people start becoming very dead very fast. Very popular little strip, it was.

Olympus (£9-99, Humanoids/DC) by Geoff Johns, Kris Grimminger & Butch Guice. Mark can't stand Butch Guice, but I like him a lot. I find his figures supple yet solid and his compositions attractive. I quite like this idea too, being as it is a sort of contemporary Jason & The Argonauts. A group of brash archaeology students find themselves trapped on Mount Olympus with a band of ruthless mercenaries as an outbreak of mythological gods and monsters - a Pantheondemic, if you like - cuts short their digging. In order to survive, they reluctantly join forces, combining the soldiers' the combat skills with what they hope they'd paid attention to in class.

Different Ugliness, Different Madness (£9-99, Humanoids/DC) by Marc Malés. I don't know Malés, but to me it says "period noir", even if I'm the only one who knows what I mean by that! It's the golden age of radio, before presenters or actors had to be photogenic. All they needed was the voice of Moira or even Patrick Stewart to become unseen stars (I'm not saying that Moira Stewart is anything other than gorgeous, by the way - she is one very attractive lady). Lloyd Goodman was one such vocal talent, but is so embarrassed by his physical ugliness he used to hire stand-ins for public appearances, until the effort of maintaining the lie become too much to bear and he retired to the countryside and into obscurity. There he meets the stunningly beautiful Helen, so traumatised by the death of her twin sister that she's in danger of losing her grip on reality. It's difficult not to suspect this not-very-original riff on the old inner/outer scars will have a Jack Spratt resolution where they end up licking each other's metaphorical platters clean, but that's more than you'll get from most biff-bam-pow fodder.

Metabarons vol 3: Steelhead & Dona Vincenta (£9-99, Humanoids/DC) by Alexandro Jodorowsky & Juan Giminez. Can someone who read this title as a series please let us know how far it got, and whether this is likely to be new material yet?

Hellblazer: Red Sepulchre (£8-50, Vertigo/DC) by Mike Carey & Steve Dillon, Marcelo Frusin. More recent stuff which I stopped reading.

Losers vol 3: Trifecta (£9-99, Vertigo/DC) by Andy Diggle & Jock, Nick Dragotta, Ale Garcia. Black Ops military hardware treachery and revenge.

Earthboy Jacobus (£11-99, Image) by Doug Tennapel. From the creator of CREATURE TECH, TOMMYSAURUS REX, and EARTHWORM JIM comes an oddity I have no idea what to make of yet. "Chief Edwards retires from the Modesto Police Department a lonely man." Are you with me so far? "On his way home he hits a flying whale with his car, opening the beast's mouth to find a boy from a parallel universe named Jacobus. Chief discovers that a society of insect monsters wants to kill this boy due to a mysterious virus that grows on his hands. The Chief becomes a father figure tot he boy and trains him how to survive insect monsters by becoming a great America ass-kicker." Or, "On his way home he hits the booze, hits a tree, and starts hallucinating." Probably not, though.

Slop: Analecta (£8-50, Image) by Dave Crosland & Debbie - "This book culls the best stories from the five year run of their out-of-print mini-comic SLOP, including the Zine Yearbook Award-winning "Patience Gets You Nowhere, Tolerance Gets You Hurt." It also contains original pinups and rare sketchwork from Dave & Debbie's art book, Acid Bomb, monthly Slop comic strips that appeared on tlchicken.com and all sorts of never-before-seen doodles and goodies."

Aliens vs Predator vol 2: Civilized Beasts (£4-99, Dark Horse) by Mike Kennedy & Roger Robinson. She's an Alien, he's a Predator. They came from opposite sides of the tracks. She was brought up on the leafy lawns of the indolent nouveau riche; he was adopted by Mexican immigrants and slept in a kennel. In this new contemporary comedy, will they overcome their differences and tie the knot, or will love tear them apart?

Please note: actual content may differ from this synopsis. Substantially.

Metal Gear Solid vol 1 (£12-99, IDW) by Kris Oprisko & Ashley Wood. Collects #1-6 of the computer game adaptation, beautifully painted by Ashley. Everyone I know who's played MGS 1,2 or 3, has wearied at the length of the animated cut-scenes. So why this, one long, unplayable cut-scene should sell at all, I have no idea. But it does. I suppose you can at least put this down and play more gameage, whereas you can't skip the waffle on PS2.

Phantom Jack (£11-99, Speakeasy) by Giacomo & co. Last year's Image series big on ideas, iffy in execution. Jack's a journalist. It just so happens he can turn himself invisible. Jack's brother is a soldier, out in Iraq (just before we decided it would be a good idea to help Bush slaughter women, men and a great many children purely to extract its oil). Jack's brother goes on a bender and is captured by the Iraqi army. Jack goes to find him. The art was somewhat all over the place, and plot ridiculous, but some of the thinking behind the invisibility itself - what it would allow you to do, and indeed what you might find yourself doing - showed promise. Brian Michael Bendis lends his credibility with an introduction, but shamefully included here are both a new 23-page "zero" story and another new 20-page illustrated prose piece, as a big "fuck-you" to all those who supported his series in the first place.

Event Horizon vol 1 (£12-99, Mam Tor) by various. Mam Tor have a lot of talent on their books, and begin to offload some of it here in comics and illustrated prose. From ancient civilisations to the future in space, they promise horror, humour and fantasy. Of those creators featured in this volume, Steve Niles, Liam Sharp, Ashley Wood, Chris Weston and Brian Holguin are perhaps the best known. Superior art.

I Was Someone Dead novella (£6-50, Oni) by Jamie S. Rich with spot illustrations by Andi Watson. Oni's ex-editor returns with a tale of tropical paradise unsettled by nightmares.

The Art Of Batman Begins h/c (£26-99) by Mark Cotta Vaz (and it crashed all over the floor). All the usual stuff you'd expect from sets and locations to concept art, storyboards, and the best model rooftops in cinematic history. We might have mentioned them earlier.

The Jackson 500 vol 1 hc (£9-99, Dark Horse) by Tim Biskup - Another hundred tiny paintings from Master Biskup. Spontaneous compositions constantly reworking themes and reoccurring characters from his comics, toys and prints.

Foul Play! The Art & Artists of the Notorious 1950s E.C. Comics s/c (£19-99) by Grant Geissman. Before DC and what became Marvel conspired with others to destroy the future of this medium as adult entertainment by helping to introduce the Comics Code Authority, there was the publisher William Gaines (founder of MAD) and E.C. Comics. Afterwards, there wasn't. E.C. published horror (TALES FROM THE CRYPT, THE VAULT OF HORROR) science fiction (WEIRD SCIENCE) and so much more, using craftsmen like Harvey Kurtzman, Bernie Krigstein, Al Williamson, Will Elder, Graham Ingels, Al Feldstein. This is their story in 600 pages. Additionally there's a previously unpublished 1956 yarn called "Wanted For Murder".

Batman Strikes! Vol 1: Crime Time (£4-99, DC) by Bill Matheny & Christopher Jones, Terry Beatty
Boneyard vol 1 – colour edition (£7-50, NBM) by Richard Moore
Cinema Panopticon hc (£10-99, Fantagraphics) by Thomas Ott
Deep Sleeper (£8-50, Image) by Phil Hester & Mike Huddleston
Emma Frost vol 3: Bloom (£5-50, Marvel) by Karl Bollers & Carlo Pagulayan
Essential Thor vol 2 (£10-99, Marvel) by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby
Fantastic Four vol 6: Rising Storm (£8-99, Marvel) by Mark Waid & Mike Wieringo
Hawkman: Wings Of Fury (£11-99, DC) by Geoff Johns & Rags Morales, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez, Scot Eaton, Michael Bair, Ray Kryssing
Human Torch vol 1: Burn (£5-50, Marvel) by Karl Kesel & Skottie Young
Judge Anderson vol 1: Anderson, PSI-Division (£11-99, 2000ad) by John Wagner, Alan Grant & Brett Ewins, Cliff Robinson, Robin Smith, Barry Kitson, Jeff Anderson, Will Simpson
Justice League Unlimited vol 1: United They Stand (£4-99, DC) by Adam Beechen & Carlo Barbieri, Walden Wong, Ethen Beavers
Little Lulu: Sunday Afternoon (£6-50, Dark Horse) by John Stanley & Irving Tripp
Man-Thing: Whatever Knows Fear (£8-50, Marvel) by Hans Rodionoff & Kyle Hotz
Modesty Blaise: Hell Makers (£10-99, Titan) by O’Donnell, Holdaway & Romero
Mutts X: Who Let The Cat Out (£7-50) by Patrick McDonnell
New Thunderbolts vol 1: One Step Forward (£9-99, Marvel) by Fabian Nicieza Tom Grummett.
Nightcrawler: The Devil Inside (£9-99, Marvel) by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa & Darick Robertson
Peebomanga vol 1 (£6-50, Antarctic) by Fred Perry
Punch & Judy (£5-50, SLG) by Chris Reilly, Darron Laessig & Jorge Santillian
Scream Queen (£8-50, Fantagraphics) by Ho Che Anderson
Sinister Dexter vol 3: Slay Per View (£14-99, 2000ad) by Dan Abnett & Sean Phillips, Greg Staples, Simon Davis, Steve Yeowell
Star Wars: Clone Wars vol 6: On The Fields Of Battle (£12-99, Dark Horse) by John Ostrander & others
Superman In Action Comics Archives vol 4 hc (£32-99, DC) by Jerry Siegel, Don Cameron & Jack Burnley, Sam Citron, John Sikela
Superman: The Wrath Of Gog (£9-99, DC) by Chuck Austen & Ivan Reis, Joe Prado, Marc Campos, John Sibal
Teen Titans: Beast Boys & Girls (£6-50, DC) by Geoff Johns, Ben Raab & Justiniano, Chris Ivy, Tom Grummett, Lary Stucker
Thundercats: Enemy’s Price (£9-99, Wildstorm/DC) by John Layman & Joe Vriens, Sacha Hellig, Robert Campos
Trencher (£11-99, Boom Studios) by Keith Giffen
Wrath Of The Spectre (£12-99, DC) by Michael Fleisher & Jim Aparo, Ernie Chua, Frank Thorne

m a n g a f o r m a y 2 0 0 5:

Dead End Vol.2 (£6-99, Tokyopop) by Shohei Manabe ~ The first volume (just in) surprised me with it's fresh funkiness. Reminiscent of "One Trick Rip Off" era Paul Pope. Not the plot. More the pacing and interaction between the various boho-types. Look for a review in part B. Lovely use of garish colour on the cover too.

Buddha vol 6: Ananda hc (£16-99, Vertical Inc) by Osamu Tezuka - Even though PHOENIX appears to be his life's work, the project that burned within him this is one of Tezuka's finest achievements. If all that he'd produced was this and ASTRO BOY he'd still be one of the finest cartoonists who ever lived.

"Key events in the Buddha story appear in "Buddha" like cornerstones on which Tezuka constructs his own fantastic palace of myth and philosophy. The first volume, during which prince Siddhartha is born, barely concerns itself with this event. Instead the majority of the narrative follows Chapra, a talented slave child who hides his caste to become the adopted son of a general. Along the way he befriends Tatta, a cheeky little boy of the lowliest pariah caste. Tatta has the remarkable ability to take over the minds of animals, making him the target of intense interest by a young monk, Naradatta. With tragic consequences Chapra's secret eventually comes out, setting up the themes of escaping cycles of destiny and the futility of violence. Chapra, Tatta and many other characters too numerous to mention are wholly fictional and original to Tezuka. Besides adding levels of narrative sophistication, this gives Tezuka room to explore the issues he has always been most concerned with: the freedom, equality and sanctity of all life." - Andrew Arnold, Time Magazine

Pale Pink vol 1 (£6-50, CPM Manga) by Kiriko Nananan ~ "Pale Pink is a 'documentary' about young women living in Tokyo. Although they seem to be content on the outside, they have issues such as bulimia, jealousy, lack of self-esteem, and love problems. This comic book gives the readers insight into a woman's mind, focusing on the kinds of thoughts they have as they live in Tokyo and try to make it in a difficult world." - Previews. And I thought my punctuation was bad! Could be wrong about this book but the miserable single women genre is usually so filled with apathy and dis-content, it makes for a depressing read. They're patronising too. My Lady friend likens the genre to sanitary towel adverts. And that the same effect could be reached listening to Nine Inch Nails whilst simultaneously sucking on a lemon. At which point I thought "this so interesting, I'm just gonna listen".

What’s Michael? vol 10: Sleepless Nights (£5-99, Dark Horse) by Makoto Kobayashi ~ More cute cat antics from Michael and co. Lots of silly "sketches" ranging from the usual cat does something strange/silly type to anthromorphic parodies of detective/comedy shows.

Blazin' Barrels vol.1 (£6-99, Tokyopop) by Min-Suh Park ~ "Sting may look harmless and Naive, but he's really an excellent fighter and a wannabe bounty hunter in the futuristic Wild Wild West." Those poor chocolate bars never get a break, do they? And here I am wondering what ever happened to the pretentious blonde tree-lover and here he is appearing in as a sci-fi cowboy in an eastern comic! Well at least it's not tantric. O.K. bad joke taken way too far (must learn restraint). I do like the look of this though. Worth a peek if your enjoying Rave Master on the teev right now.

Blade Of The Immortal vol 14: Last Blood (£11-99, Dark Horse) by Hiroaki Samura

Samurai Executioner vol 6 (£6-50, Dark Horse) by Kazuo Koike & Goseki Kojima

Full Metal Alchemist vol 1 (£7-50, Viz llc) by Hiromu Arakawa

c o m i c s f o r m a y 2 0 0 5

Strange Eggs #1 (£2-95, SLG) edited by Chris Reilly - New anthology with contributions from the Amaze Ink/Slave Labor roster. Includes Crab Scrambly, Roger Langridge, Tommy Kovak, Jamie Smart, Ian Carney, Woodrow Phoenix, Scott Saavedra & others.

Desolation Jones #1 (£2-25, Wildstorm/DC) by Warren Ellis & J.H. Williams. PROMETHEA artist extraordinaire joins King Attitude on a new bimonthly series. Los Angeles, composed almost entirely of highway these days, is an open prison for ex-members of the intelligence community, sucked up and spat out by their governments. Desolation Jones wasn't just sucked up and spat on - he was sucked up, experimented upon and then left to endure the after-effects of the Desolation Test which left him alone alive. Hyper-sensitive and prone to hallucinations, he barely slept for an entire year of agony, and now he does whatever he can to help his fellow ex-spooks as detective-for-hire, even if it means retrieving - for a debauched old Colonel suffering from dozens of separate diseases - a reel of ancient porn featuring Adolf Hitler getting in on in the bunker. This is filthy Ellis, violent Ellis, and is going to go down a storm with both factions of his fans - those that cackled through TRANSMETROPOLITAN and got off on GLOBAL FREQUENCY. I've read the script to the whole of the first issue, as Jones huddles under his grubby blanket, is driven to a porn shop, then finally loses his rag in what should be a chromatically spectacular sequence, and I can tell you this is prime, mischievous Ellis, and with Williams' art to embellish the pages, it'll feel amongst his most substantial fun to date.

Here's the first page of prologue dialogue before the current action kicks in, in which a variety of officers, doctors and psychiatrists swirl around in his memory:

"Mister Jones, you appear to be pissed as a fart again."

"Michael Jones. What an interesting dossier you present. MI6 does not request professional drinking in any job description, young man."

"I'm sorry, Mister Jones. I can't report you fit for the field. I could strip paint with your blood. Add that to the dereliction of duty charge, and, well..."

"It is understood that you have experienced extraordinary stresses in your work, Mister Jones. However, Britain's secret intelligence service requires more... resilience? Put another way: James Bond never urinated on himself."

Strangehaven #18 (£2-20, Abiogenesis Press) by Gary Spencer-Millidge. This is your annual wake-up call to good man Gary's sinister story of village life, masonic ceremony, and disappearances into the night. This issue: more lust, car trouble and blood. In other words, the conclusion to book three. Feel free to book #19 onwards, and await the third trade.

Man With The Screaming Brain #1 (£2-25, Dark Horse) by Bruce Campbell, David Goodman & Rick Remender, Hilary Barta - "Man with the Screaming Brain tells the story of a wealthy American businessman determined to exploit the crippled economy of a former Soviet state now torn between communist roots and capitalist greed. Campbell's character hits on the wrong gypsy girl and lands in the grip of a mad scientist determined to get rich off a twisted brain-transplant scheme worthy of Dr. Frankenstein. This "director's cut" of the script is the version that Campbell wanted to shoot before budgetary constraints forced him to scale back his vision. Artists Hilary Barta and Rick Remender offer a darkly cartoony collaboration in a fast-paced, uncompromising horror romp."

Queen & Country Declassified II #1 of 3 (£2-25) by Antony Johnston & Christopher Mitten. It's flashback time for ex-S.A.S. officer Nicholas Poole, as Antony Johnston (3 DAYS IN EUROPE, SPOOKED and, in stock right now, THE LONG HAUL), takes a look back at the man's career as a soldier in Northern Ireland.

Hero Squared #1 (£2-99, Boom Studios) by Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis & Joe Abraham - This is the first issue. The previous issue was the first super-sized special. Nope, they're not just shoving first issues out at you. Giffen & DeMatteis write good funny.

Year One: Batman & The Scarecrow #1 of 2 (£3-99, DC) by Bruce Jones & Sean Murphy. The Scarecrow's in the upcoming film (see book section for the adaptation), so naturally he's hauled out for the comics racks as well, courtesy of recent HULK writer, Bruce Jones. "A trail of death and straw leads the Dynamic Duo in a race to identify and stop Gotham's newest serial killer, but the demons that shaped the Scarecrow aren't so easily revealed."

Batman Villains Secret Files 2005 (£3-50, DC) by many. "A surprising Special exploring the world of the Batman's enemies - through the eyes of one of their own! Learn why Gotham City is such a magnet for crime and discover the secrets of the shape-changing supervillain Clayface!" I'd be very interested in learning why Gotham's such a magnet for crime, given that most of the villains appear to be biffed up and put away on a semi-regular basis in an Asylum whose facilities make Camp Delta look like Camp David. I don't know how many cities there are in DC's version of America, since they don't use the existing atlas in the same way Marvel do, but surely there are a versions of Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco or Las Vegas that don't have quite so many successful superheroes perched on their parapets? Or, why not emigrate to Russia? Manchester, here in the UK? What is the explanation, and will Bruce Jones and co. deliver a decent argument?

Batman: Dark Detective #1 & 2 of 4 (£2-25, DC) by Steve Englehart & Marshal Rogers, Terry Austin. Half of the BATMAN: STRANGE APPARITIONS team return to revisit old ground, kicking off with the Joker entering a "gubernational election using the campaign slogan "Vote for me or I'll kill you"". See - once more, not funny. If you can't find a writer to make the Joker funny, then stop calling him The Joker. Call him the Lame Old Man Bore That Bothers You On The Bus or something.

Green Lantern #1 (£2-60, DC) by Geoff Johns & Carlos Pacheco, Jesus Merino. Hal Jordan is back as the Green Lantern. It happened in GREEN LANTERN REBIRTH, the mini-series currently nearing completion. This is the new series, and end of the preview.

Teen Titans #24, 25 (£1-80, DC) by Johns & Clark/Outsiders #24, 25 (£1-80, DC) by Judd Winick & D'Anda. It is a fact of modern, corporate superhero life that comicbook titles occasionally cross over. At Page 45 we have learned to deal with even the most convoluted, multi-tiered sagas where different titles have different levels of entanglement (I'm thinking of the months-long Marvel merging of Magneto of Professor X that resulted in a year of quality hell for THE AVENGERS, CAPTAIN AMERICA, THE FANTASTIC FOUR and IRON MAN, shunted off into a different universe and delivered into the hands of Rob Liefeld and the like), in order to make sure readers get what they want. This is a simple one: a four-issue story in two different titles. So if you're down for one and would like the other for the relevant two issues, all you have to do is ask. Any time you hear of a cross-over and you'd like the issues involved you don't normally order, just ask. Any time you hear of a sort-of crossover, and you'd like advice on whether reading various spin-offs, rip-offs, tie-ins or cash-ins will considerable enhance your aura of joy, just ask. We'll give you our honest-to-Ellis assessment. Recently: "Do I need to be down for all the other Marvel titles which have inexplicably started using the word 'Disassembled' on their covers, in order to get the most out of Bendis' AVENGERS DISASSEMBLED?" We said: "You'd get more fun from a sip of Champagne, and the money you save would buy you two bottles of the stuff. Just buy AVENGERS DISASSEMBLED, and read it with a bottle of bubbly." That's what I did.

The Rann/Thanagar War #1 of 6 (£1-80, DC) by Dave Gibbons & Ivan Reis, Marc Campos. "Don't Believe The Hype" part 3. Last month I assigned Public Enemy's heart-felt anthem to the dollar sign on my keyboard, just so that I didn't have to keep retyping it. There was relatively little hype attached to IDENTITY CRISIS, the cracking mini-series which DC are attempted to sell all this on the back of, which was one of the reasons regular readers here will have read me being optimistic in my preview at the time, and positively lavish in my praise the second it appeared in front of me. Conversely, there is so much hype attached to DC COUNTDOWN one-shot and its four accompanying minis (DAYS OF VENGEANCE, THE OMAC PROJECT, this one and VILLAINS UNITED) that you have to suspect they're desperate. In the copy for TR/TW, we have "death-defying", "galaxy-spanning" and "worlds to war and citizens to their knees!". And I thought, Christ, where's George Bush off to now? Fortunately this is all occurring far enough away from planet Earth for Dubya to be responsible, and for me to care. It "stars" Adam Strange, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner - I guess they had to send him somewhere now Hal's back), Hawkman, Hawkgirl, and ohh, other F-lists in a war erupting between, err, Rann and Thanagar, which form part of the stellar configuration up in the evening sky which is known to astronomers across the globe as 'The Squib'. Script is provided by Dave Gibbons (THE ORIGINALS - DC cannot resist adding WATCHMEN, even though art not script there was provided by Gibbons, meriting another tap of the dollar sign "Don't Believe The Hype"), accompanied by solid visuals in a Butch Guice style.

Villains United #1 of 6 (£1-80, DC) by Gail Simone & Dale Eaglesham. "Don't Believe The Hype" part 4. The two minis that will actually feel the repercussions of IDENTITY CRISIS are this and THE OMAC PROJECT. I'm going to have to be careful once again, since DC have yet to provide potential readers access to IDENTITY CRISIS with a book (coming in the autumn). However, one of several revelations shows several top-tier members of the JLA in a morally ambiguous light. Don't get me wrong, I'd have felt very little repugnance in doing what they did. Myself, I'd have done it time and again and as often as necessary to protect my friends and relatives. But they set themselves higher than that, and now some of their nastiest enemies have seen the Light, and can't forgive what they forgot.

Batman's not happy either, for much the same reason, as you'll see in THE OMAC PROJECT, previewed last month, by GOTHAM CENTRAL's Greg Rucka. The pages I've now read are ominous, well-timed, and find Batman curter than ever. For that alone I rescind my "Don't Believe The Hype" for THE OMAC PROJECT, and replace it with "Caught, Can We Get A Witness?".

Matador #1 (£2-25, Wildstorm/DC) by Devin Grayson & Brian Stelfreeze. Superpowered serial-killer crime, illustrated in a not-quite-Eduardo-Risso style. Devin has written so-so superheroics, but has also shown moments of brilliance. I can't tell you which this will be, but I recall enjoying her first issue of BATMAN: GOTHAM KNIGHTS, and her take on internet chat-rooms and role-play for Vertigo - I forget what that was called - illustrated by John Bolton, was both inventive and relevant, and should have come out as a book as soon as it was finished.

Girls #1 (£2-20, Image) by Joshua Luna & Jonathan Luna. ULTRA, if you recall, is the POWERS-like, female-centric series which took me by surprise, and whose book I previewed last month with enthusiasm. Are the Luna brothers one-hit wonders, or do they have more up their sleeves? My guess is they have more. "Ethan Daniels is a typical bachelor who suffers from one, infallible truth: dealing with the opposite sex can be complicated. One night, he bumps into a mysterious woman who will change his life forever... and maybe even the world." All right, that does sound bobbins, but then the write-up to DESOLATION JONES, above, also sounded dull and dry and dreary. Fortunately I'd been sent the script and knew otherwise.

Common Foe #1 of 4 (£2-60, Image) by Keith Giffen, Shannon Denton & Jean-Jaques Dzialowski. WWII supernatural horror. Again.

Felt: True Tales Of Underground Hip Hop (£2-20, Image) by Jim Mahfood. A visual interpretation of Slug and Murs' joint music project. I wrote that like I knew who they were, didn't I? I don't, so I've no idea if it would make a decent comic. i'm not even sure if either of the grin-worthy Handsome Boy Modelling School Cds could be turned into a decent comic. Jim Mahfood be the man for any such project, however, as readers of STUPID COMICS etc. might suspect.

NYC Mech: Beta Love #1 (£2-60) by Ivan Brandon, Miles Gunter & Andy MacDonald. Eric Canté's cover is lovely in a Barry Windsor-Smith way, but the insides are more than passable too. Here's what Warren Ellis makes of it: "...A nicely crooked SF series that I can best describe as F****d-Up Robots With Guns In Love." Azzarello too sang its praises. The grannies are robots too. I liked the granny robot, in the bus station. "Ought not to come up on a man from behind, Miz Pope." "Lordamercy, Quentin, I just weanted to get my good seat."

PVP #1 (50 pence, Image) by Scott Kurtz. Fifty pence for fifty cents, but it's all in the economics of transport, Diamond quite reasonably having to make sure a low-priced comic doesn't actually lose them money, and us wanting a cut for giving it shelf space. Office politics comedy, which has on occasion been quite funny, though not on the page seen here. 16 pages.

Fantastic Four #527 (£2-25, Marvel) by J. Michael Straczynski & Mike McKone. There's no reason why this can't be readable. Look at ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR. And the art's far meatier and more accomplished than the currently display of rag-doll figures. I'm just not sure I can get overly worked up until I see the pudding.

Machine Teen #1 of 5 (£2-25, Marvel) by Marc Sumerak & Mike Hawthorne. He's a teen, but he's a machine. He just didn't know it. I'd have thought the lack of acne would have been a clue.

Ultimate Fantastic Four #19 (£1-70, Marvel) by Mike Carey & Jae Lee. Whoops. The last rumours I heard were than Mark Millar was returning to this title. Will he have any sales to come back to? This is a two-parter.

Giant-Size X-Men #3 (£3-50, Marvel) by Joss Whedon & Dave Cockrum, with others. Joss Whedon writes what appears to be an untold story of the X-Men post-GIANT-SIZE X-MEN #1 (i.e. after Wolverine, Banshee, Storm, Colossus and Nightcrawler joined during the relaunch in 1975), illustrated by that era's artist, Dave Cockrum. The rest of the 80 pages will reprint FF #28, and UNCANNY X-MEN #s 9 and 35 which guest-starred The Avengers and Spider-Man respectively.

Excalibur #13, 14 (£2-25, Marvel) by Chris Claremont & Aaron Lopresti. "The House of M prelude."

We are now accepting orders for THE HOUSE OF M mini-series, written by Brian Michael Bendis and with Finch-Like art by Olivier Coipel. It hasn't been solicited yet, but Wizard printed four pages, and if I needed any reassurance in the first place, I don't any longer.

In AVENGERS DISASSEMBLED Wanda Maximoff, The Scarlet Witch, came apart at the seams, taking reality with her. In desperation, Dr. Strange shut down her mind. If he hadn't literally anything might have happened: more death, more destruction, perhaps an irreversible warping of existence. Then her father appeared and whisked her comatose body away. Her father's Magneto, by the way, and this places her bang slap in the middle of both the Avengers and the X-Men. But Bendis hasn't finished with her yet, and rather than slide her continuing story into a messy crossover between THE NEW AVENGERS and any number of X-titles, much of which would have been written and drawn by other, lesser creators, he's continuing it in a self-contained, one-artist miniseries in which both groups are gathered together to decide her fate. Why do they need to make a decision? In case she wakes up.

At present Wanda lies inert, in Genosha, and in the pages of EXCALIBUR. I know, because I've seen those pages, and they are awful and redundant. However, if you want to see how Chris Claremont will handle the run-up to "THE HOUSE OF M", here are the two issues you need to order. Please feel free, if you don't trust my judgement or agree with my sensibilities (and there is absolutely no reason why you should). My honest, heartfelt advice for those who do share similar reading patterns to my own, is that they will spoil it for you. Bendis will pick the story up right where he intended to pick the story up. You don't need to know any of this. And although money saved on these won't buy you two bottles of champers, it will secure you an ounce of chocolate in the form of a hollow egg (or half an ounce if you're buying Lindt or Suchard).

Punisher: The Cell one-shot (£3-50, Marvel Max) by Garth Ennis & Lewis Larosa. It's Garth, so those down for the regular Garth-written series will receive this automatically, though you are quite within your rights to pick this out, fling it across the room, and shoot half a dozen rounds through it. We will, however, not be able to represent you in court. Seriously, if you don't want it, just say so now or when you find it in your file.

Mr. T #1 (£2-60, APC) by Chris Bunting & Dash Martin. Chris is very excited at the moment. We keep receiving electric emails, because he's got his comic splashed all over the media, and I'll bet this is the only preview in print that doesn't quote a single one of Mr. T's catchphrases. Okay, his single catchphrase. Mr. T is the stage name of the big bloke what played B.A. Barracas (sp? no idea) in the A-Team. Huge muscles, lots of chains, surly demeanour and a black mohican. Could have easily got a gig with the Village People. These are his adventures.

Smoke #1 (£4-99, IDW) by Alex de Campi & Igor Kordey. Billed as "blackly comic", this takes place in a future London, where the government is morally and financially bankrupt (so much for "fiscal prudence"). They even have assassins, and this about one of them. Kordey worked on some of the X-titles for a while.

Nightmare On Elms Street/Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Friday 13th specials (£2-99 each, Avatar) by Brian Pulido & Ryp, Burrows, Wolfer respectively. I've not seen a single one of these films. Is that odd? Brian Pulido is the seemingly immortal creator of LADY DEATH, the warrior woman with alabaster skin, breasts the size of Luxembourg, and, living up to her name, a habit of ringing the death knoll on every publisher she's attached to. The illustrators you may have encountered on other Avatar works by Warren Ellis or Alan Moore via Antony Johnston.

m e r c h a n d i s e e v e n t u a l l y

Mirror Mask Really Useful Journal (£18-99, Dark Horse) with invisible script by Neil Gaiman. I thought that was quite a funny joke at first, but there really is a script, by Gaiman, invisible to the unenhanced eye. I should explain: there's a film on the way called Mirror Mask in which Helena opens her Really Useful Book in times of need, and, from the seemingly blank pages, rise words of sage advise to help her through each predicament. So here Dark Horse - who have a knack for inventive merchandise - have produced a case-bound journal which includes not only an invisible ink pen so you can write you own secret thoughts, but also a black light pen, which is handy if you want to recall what you've written. Neil Gaiman has also left mysterious messages of his own, which the pen will uncover ("Remember what your mother told you"), and - who knows? - they may be just the hints you need to get you out of a spot. Here's some I'd add fairly early on: "Another pint would not be prudent." "Would John Peel have honestly bought that?" "You do not need pizza at this ungodly hour." "Put your money away, you've had more than enough." "It's time to disable your Send & Receive." "And now you should leave the country."

Superman Glow-In-The Dark Symbol t-shirt (£14-99 for S,M,L,XL, £18-99 for XXL, Graphitti). Black t-shirt which will make you look as if you've drunk too much Kryptonite Lite.

Cerebus For Dictator t-shirt (same prices, same company). There have been some superb CEREBUS t-shirts over the years, most notably the Cirin print with "One Big Mother" underneath [take this with a pinch of salt: Stephen designed it for the UK Tour '93... then made his mother wear one - ed]. This baby blue affair, however, wasn't one of them. The image is of Cerebus as he was in the first book, and he's brandishing a sword.

Postage (overseas at cost):
£1-00 for the first comic (unless there's a book included in the package in which case it's just 25 pence), and 25 pence thereafter.

£1-00 each for Tokyopop or Lonewolf books, £3-00 for 'The Complete Bone', £1-50 each for all other books or t-shirts.

'JLA/Avengers oversized double h/c slipcased edition', 'The Complete Frank', 'Locas', 'The DC Comics Encyclopedia' 'Behind The Panels', 'Cages', 'Comics, Comix & Graphic Novels' and 'Love & Rockets: The Complete Palomar' will cost a flat £5-00 postage, but anything ordered on top of them will of course be postage free, because.....

Maximum postage for all this lot is £5-00.

Posters and prints are sent separately @ £1-50.

Standing Orders:
To ensure that you never miss a single issue of a title you read, Page 45 provides a free standing order service either for personal collection or sending by post. All you have to do is tell us which titles you want, and we'll save them for you as they come out. You can visit or phone as often as you want, but we must hear from you at least once every three months, please. Single orders and reservations just as gratefully received as any others.

More information can be found in Comics International (£1-95), the Previews catalogue (£3-25), at www.ninthart.com and www.sequentialtart.com or indeed by e-mailing us at page45@page45.com

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Our web-site address is www.page45.com. Construction, design and management by Dominique Kidd.

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Page 45 is a comic shop.

We are:
Mark Simpson
Stephen L. Holland

Tom Rosin

Page 45

9 Market Street

Nottingham

NG1 6HY
Tel: (0115) 9508045
Monday to Saturday 9am to 6pm.

Mailshots constructed by Stephen and Mark, then demolished by a dissolute dromedary in drag. Tom grants planning permission for WHAT'S MICHAEL?, PALE PINK, and DEAD END. ABC WARRIORS assembled by Alex Sarll. FIENDS OF THE EASTERN FRONT put together by Charles Ellis.

l e t t e r s