We'll get to how utterly absorbing (and upsetting) this is as a narrative in a bit. However, that's quite the stark sub-title, that, isn't it? But then, have you never known a woman (or man) stuck in a relationship whose abusive nature they don't even recognise, such is the insidious level of manipulation? I think that's why the sub-title's so important, and I hope the book helps. I hope it's bought by or for victims who, through no fault of their own, need a mirror holding up to their lives: this is what it looks like - recognise anything? That's not love, it's not your fault, and you do deserve better.
This isn't, of course, just a self-help book, although it doesn't fail in that department either ("Does more to to convey the effects of domestic violence than a dozen worthy textbooks," writes Meera Syal on the front - and she's got that right).
As I implied at the beginning, it's one of those candid real-life stories you simply cannot put down, much as you'd like to look away. It begins with the whirlwind of new passion and possession which overwhelms us all during the first stages of a new romance - to want to spend as much time as possible together, do anything and everything for each other, and keep the moments apart to a minimum. So it is with Rosalind and Brian, but then... "irregularities" begin appearing in the panels. Little things that Rosalind glimpses, as if in the corner of her eye, but which she puts down initially to over-enthusiasm and the ardour of Brian's love. Like driving across the lawn, only to screech up him within mere feet of her. And then there's the slow absorption of Rosalind into his life, and the removal of her own - of her identity and independence. He wants her to sell her business company - so that he can "look after" her. He fires the children's nanny - so she spends more time looking after them. He doesn't want her meeting the neighbours, and he's certainly not about to introduce himself to her friends who've never met him. Then, when things turn violent, he uses his children as emotional tools, and his previous wife's recent death as a manipulative ace-in-the-hole, his supposed grief as a Get Out Of Jail Free Card for anything and everything. And believe me when I type "everything". By the time we see how he treats his children in private, we've gone right past disturbing and straight into the realms of "fucking hell".
However. All this is conveyed so much better in the book itself than I ever could in plain prose. When you read it, you'll understand exactly how Rosalind is disempowered to the extent that she thinks it's all her fault, that if only she would try harder to understand him, his mood swings would disappear.
Now, when I first saw the art without the storytelling, I was undecided. It's blobby and it's basic, but within minutes it's obvious that anything fussier, anything tricksier or more detailed would detract from what's being told and leave you on the outside, looking in, rather than caught in the middle of this horrendous brutality. The simpler you render something, the more accessible it becomes emotionally, in terms of identification, and that's the whole point of this book: Rosalind could be any woman, perhaps even the person reading it.
Here's a link to Rosalind's site so that you can get a flavour of the art. Showing you this does run the risk of countering my claim that this isn't merely a dry, didactic tract, but the book isn't laid out like this at all. The book is pure story, with none of the lecture-like analysis <Actinic:Variable Name = 'LINK'/>. Although it is a pretty good lecture.
For a viewpoint from outside Page 45...
Thank you very much for the review. I have to say it gave me flashbacks and a chill ran through me. I think I may have to read [the book], though be warned I'll probably cry, but then you're used to that!!
If there is one thing I'd say about Page 45 it has broken that 'can't be bothered to read' laziness I have had since a child. We started by Mark promising he would have me reading one day, then came Ruby Gloom. I'll always be grateful to him for that. Then there is you. Well what can I say? I look forward to the Comics International just to read your column, I usually hate long emails (I know I can write them and you must get bored) and groan when one of my friends mails me because its always a step by step guide to her previous week, all her church meetings and where she's been to eat. Then invariably she will mention something in them when I speak to her (she works at another office of ours) and I will have to pretend I know what the fuck she's talking about, but since we've been mailing I look forward to your mails and this last one was longer than your usual because of the review, but I was compelled to read it, every last word.
The review was like you had written bits of my own life - scary. Thank god I didn't have kids, but he alienated my friends, hated my family for reasons I've probably told you. He looked after all the money and I wasn't allowed to go out.
Then there was [****] - what a breath of fresh air and 13 years down the line and I love him as much if not more now than ever. I cry if he goes out without me - how sloppy is that from a girl who doesn't give a shit about anyone - yeah course I don't!!
Feel free to chop up and use any of the bits about the review/Comics International or how Page 45 has got me reading.
