Page 45 Review by Stephen & Tom
Another repacking, and not bad value for money, either.
KILL YOUR BOYFRIEND first:
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
"Got a bit carried away there."
"Shit. No more vodka."
"I didn't really think he'd do it. He'd killed him with no remorse, no pity, no regard for the sanctity of life. He'd gunned down my whole future.
"I think I'm in love."
Fourth printing of Morrison's ode to anarchy originally published in 1995, as a charming man sweeps up a bored British schoolgirl from the suburban straightjacket of settling for second-best: Mums who search their teenage children's drawers, three-wheeled cars for the disabled ("Even the fucking car's an invalid. They ought to give people a bit of dignity."), boyfriends who leave you with little more than a peck on a cheek, and suffocating in a vacuum of nothing better to do than watch Top Of The fucking Pops when one minute with an Uzi in Mr. Mandible's Geography class would solve most of your psychological problems for the next three years.
Way ahead of its time and without an inhibition in the world, this "Get it out of your system" made TANK GIRL look like JACKIE or BUNTY. I could have pulled a quote from every single page. That this is its fourth production speaks volumes about its popularity, an appeal shared by Peter Milligan and Duncan Fegredo's equally antagonistic and refreshingly outspoken GIRL which, criminally, has not been reprinted once.
Bond with D'Israeli on inks is a magnificent combo, a pair who should be reunited this very instant - and until I say otherwise - to give us more British eyes, hair and teeth which we can all fall in love with. They keep the urban urbane then slowly but surely introduce a Chelsea-Girl glamour after the eyes start lighting up with new life.
Time to trash a tea room in search of consumables and pull out a gun for a bun:
"Look, we're starving and we want some of your cakes.
"If you don't give us free cakes, we'll kill you."
Seems perfectly reasonable to me.
A title more misspelled than any other - oh, come on, you type VINAMARAMA too! Here's our Tom who, since leaving us, has become a chef. Tom was very fond of cake too.
Sofia: "That tiny little sort of popping noise you just heard was the sound of me going completely insane."
Ali: "Mine was sort of a 'ping'."
Poor Ali is at a crux in his young life. His father has arranged for him to be married to an accountant's daughter from Southampton. If she's ugly (or stupid or boring), Ali will take it as existential proof that God does indeed hate him, and hang himself. But before he can get too Emo, the floor at his father's shop caves in, burying his brother Omar under a mountain of Turkish Delight and creating an opening to an ancient city which has lain dormant under what we now know as Bradford for six thousand years.
Ali's baby nephew, Imran, decides to learn to walk and goes off exploring the buried city, accidentally releasing an army of 8-foot-tall demons bent on unleashing hell on earth. Now the only one who can stop them is... No, not Ali, but Prince Ben Rama and the Ultra-Hadeen. Unfortunately for Ali, Ben Rama gains his power from love - and he loves Ali's betrothed, Sofia, who's actually everything he could want in a girl. Now the world's going to end, the girl of Ali's dreams has been pulled by an 8-foot Demi-God, and everyone's going to die before he's even had a chance to really live.
I've never seen Bond's art look better than it does here. Nobody draws slightly despondent young adults quite like him. And, yeah, this isn't WE3 but if you ignore all the weird fantasy and boil this story down, it's all about family. And how at 18 years of age they may seem like nothing but a hindrance, when in fact they really are your only hope.