God Of War back

Barking blades and butchery game finally gets its own comicbook spin-off, and much "tohewen and toshrede" there be!

Also chains (two), Hellspawn (legion), and a goatee. I always assumed that Kratos was voiced by Star Trek: Next Generation's Michael Dorn who played - and may even still play - Klingon growly-man Worf. When alone and at home. Or not alone, I don't know. "It… amuses me." Turns out it was Terrence C. "TC" Carson.

Anyway, it all looks thoroughly Christopher Shy, he of Goth-O-Vision Inc. (see ASCEND etc.), there are great big brutes with sharp gnashing teeth for kohl-eyed Kratos to lay into, and I'll slay he does. It's a total mascara!

I was going to delve back in to the PS3 edition and type up some more console-game in-jokes but then realised that my pretty gay barista has singularly failed to return the copy I leant him. Still, if you can locate the head of Medusa on page twenty-three and point it at the break between panels two and three of Page 45 whilst pressing both R1 and O, you may find yourself gazing into the cavernous jaws of our till. I'd have at least one of Charon's coins handy if I were you, or you may end up floating down River Penury without that proverbial paddle.

(The words "tohewen" and "toshrede" come to you courtesy The Knight's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer. Hack and slash in modern mundane parlance.)