Page 45 Review by Jonathan
“So apparently the Queen is really pissed off...”
“Yeah, you can say that again. I reckon I’ll have this bruise for a few days at least.”
“<Sigh> Not you Luke.”
“We’re gonna have to get the real Queen’s stuff back ASAP!”
“How are we going to do that? We don’t know the first thing about Mr. Ninja.”
“Does anyone know any telepaths?”
“I went out with one once, but I wouldn’t recommend it. They know when you’re faking it. And lying. And sleeping around.”
“Wouldn’t that describe pretty much all your relationships, Diva, honey?”
“Oi!”
“Okay, okay, guys, back to the matter at hand. How do we find this ninja and get the crown jewels back?”
“I believe I may have an answer for you...”
“Martha!”
“Good morning! Your opponent has brought the stolen goods back here and this ninja gentlemen has left a calling card. And a corgi.”
‘Come and get me! – N x’
Easily the most amusing superhero-related fare I’ve read since James Kochalka’s SUPERF*CKERS, this features Prowler, Liberty, Glitter, Indigo, Butch, Mr. Muscles and Diva, who together are Spandex, the first all-gay superhero team. They are, of course, based in Brighton, and comprise of the whole LGBT spectrum, but rest assured this is not a cliché-ridden, entendre-laden exploitation. Well, maybe is it actually, but it is hilarious from start to finish and done with such a lovingly knowing fake-lashed wink, and apparently low-fi art style, that it is simply a glittering success. I say apparently low-fi art style, because the more you look at it, you actually realise it’s extremely cleverly put together and detailed, but manages at exactly the same time to look like it’s been dashed off with just a twelve-colour set of felt tips. A comic like this though needs to have exactly this sort of art style, to patently make the point it isn’t taking itself remotely seriously, otherwise it just wouldn’t work, exactly like SUPERF*CKERS.
It is of course, just as much about the various members, their relationships, the intrigue and the drama, as actually fighting the bad guys, though it must be said that Martin Eden has come up with some brilliant villains for our group to do battle with in this collection of the first three issues, including the team which will apparently go on to become their ultimate nemesis in the future, Les Girlz, comprised of Incognita, Hag, Pussy, Queenie, Ms. Fantastic, Chunk and Crusader. The third issue in particular, featuring our spangly group doing battle with an alien creature called Nadir that has managed to enslave the entire human race, turning them and the whole world grey, is just brilliantly done. It’s just well written superhero comedy that I found far funnier than THE PRO or EMPOWERED.
I was also rather amused by Martin’s comment in the extras material at the back that he deliberately did a cover for issue #3 featuring Spandex in black outfits showing more boobage, because he was worried that straight readers at conventions were being put off by the really pink cover to issue #2. Whereas I just assumed it was a Grant Morrison’s NEW X-MEN piss-take with their leather jumpsuits! So in conclusion I eagerly look forward to more Spandex, particularly their ongoing attempts to find a decent battlecry, which is a great running joke throughout. Meanwhile I’ll leave the last word to Prowler and Diva.
“What exactly do you do with a 50-foot lesbian?”
“You really want me to answer that?”
