Page 45 Review by Jonathan
"The, um, the idea, Miss H..., uh, Ma'am, was to make the software more approachable to the American public. Using some of today's most beloved young sitcom stars, we created a pitch, that's a little more, uh, light-hearted, more funny..."
"Funny? FUNNY? Bleeding Christ almighty, we had more laugh lines at my second husband's funeral. What else have you got?"
"Let's cut to the chase. When we bailed your operation out two years ago, you said you were making VR bigger than big. Building a virtual future, with virtual gaming, virtual vacations, virtual concerts, virtual fucking. Something for everybody. So we kept our hands off, even after you blew three release dates and every last cent of your development budget twice over. Didn't even blink when you paid some washed-up New Wave act a quarter million for a piddling three-second start up noise..."
"...Error noise, Ma'am. Specifically for when the user..."
"The point is that we've put a lot of time, money and patience into this little project of yours. Now we're in the show me phase and all you've shown me so far is this."
"All due respect, Ma'am, but Dreamspace '95 is the best VR creation tool on the market today. The problem is not with the software."
"Of course it isn't! That's why you chucklefucks are being outsold by 'Freddie Ferret's Fun With Fractions!' at every retailer on the East Coast."
"Maybe if our Director Of Sales would..."
"I'm done talking. Get this fixed or start blowing the cobwebs off your resumes. It's that simple."
Haha, I do like a good tirade. I did initially mis-read the last part and think the choice insult in question was chuckleferrets, which only tickled me further. This mirth-moist third instalment of DRUGS & WIRES only serves to further deepen the mystery regarding precisely who is trying to wipe out the fringe headwear community, and indeed now messing around with VR providers. There's a curious game afoot, and neither I, nor those at the pointy end of the virtual probings, have a clue about what's really going on.
This title, neatly blending speculative fiction and relentless humour fits perfectly into the sci-farce sub-genre. I have no idea if that's a genuine term, mind you, but if not, it should be! Anyone who has ever read The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy would appreciate the digital daftness of this mash up of cyberpunk and clown school. Main character Dan is such a hapless car crash of an individual he fits perfectly into that Arthur Dent-esque idiot on the loose role.